I saw the most beautiful cars in the window of a dealership recently. A sales man came out and said: Come on in. Theyre bigger than ever and they last a lifetime! Later I learned he was talking about the payments.

1. What kind of ears do trains have?Engineers (engine ears).

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2. Q. What has one horn and gives milk? A A milk truck.

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3. A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hells Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old mans pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old mans milk and then he too took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old mans plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?" The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles."

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4. A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since hes in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?". The man says "Sorry - were right out of petrol." So the man considers, and says "Well, Im a bit low on oil, would you mind topping that up?" And the attendant responds"Sorry, but no oil either." The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he gets the by-now predictable response that he cant do that. The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant "Just what kind of petrol station is this ?" The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front." The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow u

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5. What did one car muffler say to the other car muffler?"Am I exhausted!"

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6. Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings.

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7. Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train. "The next train is in one hour," said the stationmaster. The three went back into the bar. The parents had another drink; Blake had a Pepsi. Again they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling away. "Next one is sixty minutes from now!" said the stationmaster. An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The boy was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously. "Your parents just left you," said the stationmaster. "Why are you laughing?" "They came to see me off!"

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8. a quadruple amputee is waiting at the bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says"alright John, how you getting on today?"

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9. Policeman: Why didnt you stop at that red light?Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

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10. A businessman was traveling in the train and his seat was reserved in the last couch of the train. Every time the train stops at station and he faced so much of problem as all shops to purchase eatables were far off. He was very upset and every time he was remembering thats all happened because I am in the last couch. When he got down at the destination station, he asked the station person that he wants to lodge a complaint against the railway staff. The complaints and suggestions book was given to him and he wrote: " There should not be any last couch in the train. If there is any last couch in the train, it should be kept somewhere in the middle.

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