Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest. The nouns met again a week later and one of the nouns asked her friend,"I have one question.Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"

1. Zoo visitor: Whats the new baby hippos name? Hippopotamus keeper: I dont know, he wont tell me.

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2. Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest. The nouns met again a week later and one of the nouns asked her friend,"I have one question.Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"

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3. What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?Nothing, he didnt recognize them!

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4. There was this truck driver who had to deliver 500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to the state zoo for him.The next day the original truck driver arrives in town and sees the new truck driver crossing the road with 500 penguins walking in single file behind him.The original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, "Whats going on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!"The new truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo. And I had enough money left over so now were going to see a movie."

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5. Little Jordan wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents, Al and Elaine, for days. Finally Elaine talked Jordans reluctant father into taking him. And so Jordan and Al got into the car and left."So how was it?" Elaine asked when they returned home."Great," Little Jordan replied."Did you and your father have a good time?" asked Elaine."Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Jordan, excitedly,"especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!"

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6. Whats the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo?In a Northern zoo you have the name of the animal and the Latin name underneath. In a Southern zoo you haven the name of the animal and a recipe underneath.

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7. Zoo Keeper:"Ive lost one of my elephants"Other Zoo Keeper:"Why dont you put an advert in the paper?"Zoo Keeper:"Dont be silly, he cant read!"

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8. The Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the general luck and overall mood of the year by watching the the gnu. If the gnus ears were forward, that meant a successful, joyous year was almost certain to happen. But if his ears were laid back flat against his head, it meant that an unlucky or very unhappy year was sure to come. One year it was young Marys turn to "survey" the animal and come up with the prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to take the key to the cage. She was late in coming to check on the gnu. Well, she saw the wrong ear position and predicted a bad year, when in fact it was quite good. To explain the error, the local newspaper ran the following headline a year later: MARY CRIST MISSES AN HAPPY GNUS EAR!

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9. A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lions mouth," the vet told him."How do I do that?" he asked."Carefully," replied the vet.

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10. The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."

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