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Category:  Zoo jokes
Date Added: 11/10/2007
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Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young zoo keeper asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task. "Go and clean out the aquarium" he was told. Arriving at the aquarium, he discovered that all the fish were dead. He rushed back to the head keeper and asked what he should do. "Throw them to the lions" said the head keeper, "the lions will eat anything". So the young keeper returned to the aquarium, picked up all the dead fish and threw them into the lions cage. That done, he returned and asked what he should do now. He was instructed to go and clean out the ape house. Off he went and started cleaning. He was shocked to discover dead chimpanzees in the cage, and rushed back for instructions. "Dont worry" said the head keeper, "just throw them to the lions, the lions will eat anything". So the young man returns to the ape house and throws the dead animals into the lions cage.Returning again for instructions, he is told to go along and help clean up the insect house. Busy cleaning out one off the exotic hives, he notices that all the bees have died. "I know what to do", he thinks to himself "Ill throw them all to the lions, as the lions will eat anything", whereupon he brushes them all up and throws them into the lion cage. The next day, the zoo obtains a new lioness. The lioness is walking around the new cage for the first time, and starts asking the other lions what things are like here. "Hows the accommodation?", she asks. "Fine" comes the reply from one lion. "And whats the food like?" she asks."Not bad" replies another, "yesterday, we had fish, chimps and mushy bees".
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1. Little Jordan wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents, Al and Elaine, for days. Finally Elaine talked Jordans reluctant father into taking him. And so Jordan and Al got into the car and left."So how was it?" Elaine asked when they returned home."Great," Little Jordan replied."Did you and your father have a good time?" asked Elaine."Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Jordan, excitedly,"especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!"

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2. Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young zoo keeper asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task. "Go and clean out the aquarium" he was told. Arriving at the aquarium, he discovered that all the fish were dead. He rushed back to the head keeper and asked what he should do. "Throw them to the lions" said the head keeper, "the lions will eat anything". So the young keeper returned to the aquarium, picked up all the dead fish and threw them into the lions cage. That done, he returned and asked what he should do now. He was instructed to go and clean out the ape house. Off he went and started cleaning. He was shocked to discover dead chimpanzees in the cage, and rushed back for instructions. "Dont worry" said the head keeper, "just throw them to the lions, the lions will eat anything". So t

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3. Freds class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when she got home. "Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

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4. Caller: Finally! I got through! Ive been trying to call the zoo for hours! Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy!

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5. Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.

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6. I was in the zoo last week. Really? Which cage were you in?

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7. A father and his small son were standing in front of the tigers cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression. Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..." "Yes, son?" the father said expectantly. "What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.

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8. One day the zookeeper noticed that the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwins Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brothers keeper or my keepers brother."

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9. Zoo visitor: Whats the new baby hippos name? Hippopotamus keeper: I dont know, he wont tell me.

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10. There was this truck driver who had to deliver 500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to the state zoo for him.The next day the original truck driver arrives in town and sees the new truck driver crossing the road with 500 penguins walking in single file behind him.The original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, "Whats going on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!"The new truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo. And I had enough money left over so now were going to see a movie."

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