The Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the general luck and overall mood of the year by watching the the gnu. If the gnus ears were forward, that meant a successful, joyous year was almost certain to happen. But if his ears were laid back flat against his head, it meant that an unlucky or very unhappy year was sure to come. One year it was young Marys turn to "survey" the animal and come up with the prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to take the key to the cage. She was late in coming to check on the gnu. Well, she saw the wrong ear position and predicted a bad year, when in fact it was quite good. To explain the error, the local newspaper ran the following headline a year later: MARY CRIST MISSES AN HAPPY GNUS EAR!

1. I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really, did they accept him?

- RATE / SHARE →

2. FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla?BERT: No, what happened?FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . .BERT: What did you do?FRED: Oh, Id had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.

- RATE / SHARE →

3. I was in the zoo last week. Really? Which cage were you in?

- RATE / SHARE →

4. Zoo Keeper:"Ive lost one of my elephants"Other Zoo Keeper:"Why dont you put an advert in the paper?"Zoo Keeper:"Dont be silly, he cant read!"

- RATE / SHARE →

5. Freds class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when she got home. "Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

- RATE / SHARE →

6. "Hey, Pop," pleaded Angelo, "can I go to the zoo to see the monkeys?" "Whats the matter with you?" asked his father. "Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt Maud is here?"

- RATE / SHARE →

7. One day the zookeeper noticed that the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwins Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brothers keeper or my keepers brother."

- RATE / SHARE →

8. An enterprising mayor of the city of Granby, Quebec, a community south of Montreal, established a municipal zoo that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise to many unusual events. Last September one of the star attractions, Arnold, an Indonesian ape, escaped to the dismay of the zoo director. The matter was a serious one because the members of the staff of the zoo, while expert at caring for animals, had no experience whatsoever in rounding them up or capturing them. The zoo director appealed to the office of the mayor for help and the secretary to the mayor asked, "Have you looked in the yellow pages"? The director said he hadnt, but would, immediately. To his surprise, under "animal capturing service" he found a listing for the Acme Ape Apprehenders. He called them immediately.

- RATE / SHARE →

9. What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?Nothing, he didnt recognize them!

- RATE / SHARE →

10. My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said, "If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!"

- RATE / SHARE →