Come on, Fred, Ill take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!

1. A Scotsman paying his first visit to a zoo stopped by one of the cages"An whut animal would that be ?" he asked the keeper."Thats a moose from Canada", came the reply."A moose !!", exclaimed the Scotsman. "Hoots, mon, if thats a moose then they must ha rats the size of elephants over there !"

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2. You dont see many reindeer in zoos, do you?No. They cant afford the admission.

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3. What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?Nothing, he didnt recognize them!

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4. FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla?BERT: No, what happened?FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . .BERT: What did you do?FRED: Oh, Id had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.

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5. My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said, "If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!"

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6. Come on, Fred, Ill take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!

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7. Zoo visitor: Whats the new baby hippos name? Hippopotamus keeper: I dont know, he wont tell me.

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8. Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young zoo keeper asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task. "Go and clean out the aquarium" he was told. Arriving at the aquarium, he discovered that all the fish were dead. He rushed back to the head keeper and asked what he should do. "Throw them to the lions" said the head keeper, "the lions will eat anything". So the young keeper returned to the aquarium, picked up all the dead fish and threw them into the lions cage. That done, he returned and asked what he should do now. He was instructed to go and clean out the ape house. Off he went and started cleaning. He was shocked to discover dead chimpanzees in the cage, and rushed back for instructions. "Dont worry" said the head keeper, "just throw them to the lions, the lions will eat anything". So t

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9. Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb; when his pal asked him how he had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied, "it was a total con! I saw a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I followed it and saw the monkeys. Then I saw another sign that said To The Bears, so I followed that and saw the bears. But when I followed a sign that said To the Exit, I found myself out on the street."

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10. A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lions mouth," the vet told him."How do I do that?" he asked."Carefully," replied the vet.

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