A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.His friend asks, "Didnt your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?"The businessman replies, "Thats the accountant were looking for."

1. Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays?They can wear casual clothes to work

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2. Whats an extroverted accountant?One who looks at your shoes while hes talking to you instead of his own.

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3. Whats an extroverted accountant?One who looks at your shoes while hes talking to you instead of his own.

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4. How do you drive an accountant completely insane?Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.

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5. Three partners in an accounting firm go out to lunch. They are the audit partner, the tax partner and the senior partner. One of them sees a brass lamp lying in the gutter. Curious, they pick it up and give it a rub. Instantly, a genie appears."You know the deal," says the genie. "Three wishes. But seeing there are three of you, you can have one wish each.""Great," says the audit partner. "Take me to the Whitsunday Islands, give me a blonde and an endless supply of XXXX and leave me there for ever."Pouf! There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke and he is gone."Now me," says the tax partner. "Take me to the Cook Islands, give me two blondes and an endless supply of offshore tax schemes and leave me there for ever."Pouf! There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke and he is gone.The genie turns to the senior p

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6. Why do accountants make good lovers? Theyre great with figures.

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7. An auditor is checking the books of an airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an explanation."It was late at night" says the pilot, "Canberra was covered in fog and I lost my bearings.""Im sorry," says the auditor, "but youll have to bear the cost yourself.""The cost of what?" asks the pilot."Of the bearings you lost."

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8. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people dont?Depreciation.

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9. What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?His desk is level

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10. What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?Lost

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