Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?They prefer cricket matches!

1. Did you hear about the underwater snooker player?He was a pool shark!

- RATE / SHARE →

2. Why did the goal post get angry ?Because the bar was rattled !

- RATE / SHARE →

3. Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?"Caddy: "Eventually."

- RATE / SHARE →

4. Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him

- RATE / SHARE →

5. "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jacks wife Tracy."Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesights gotten so bad, Icouldnt see where the ball went.""Youre seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife. "Why dont you take my brother Scott along?""But hes eighty-five and doesnt even play golf anymore," protested Jack."Yes, but hes got perfect eyesight and can watch your ball for you,"Tracy pointed out.The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Did you see where it went?" asked Jack."Yup," Scott answered."Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance."I forgot."

- RATE / SHARE →

6. Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. Its distracting!"Caddy: "This isnt a watch, sir, its a compass!"

- RATE / SHARE →

7. Why didnt the dog want to play football ?It was a boxer !

- RATE / SHARE →

8. A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "Its not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "Its not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "Its not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since youve had a cigarette?""Ten years!", he says.She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!" Then she asked, "How long has it been since youve had a drink of whiskey?" He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sl

- RATE / SHARE →

9. What stories are told by basketball players?Tall stories!

- RATE / SHARE →

10. What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas ?Ince pies !

- RATE / SHARE →