Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?Because education pays off in the long run!

1. Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. Its distracting!"Caddy: "This isnt a watch, sir, its a compass!"

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2. Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?He was the skipper !

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3. A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" "Its a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!" "Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?" "No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it." "Well, what if you hit it into the woods?" "Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed." "Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?" "No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! Im telling you, you can never lose this

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4. A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club?"Were the crowd not behind you" asked the reporter"They were right behind me all right", said the manager, "But I managed to shake them off at the station!"

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5. Where do footballers dance?At a football!

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6. What is the bank managers favourite type of football?Fiver side!

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7. What tea do footballers drink?Penaltea!

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8. When fish play football, who is the captain?The teams kipper!

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9. Our team is doing so badly that "Manager of the Month" isnt an award.Its an appointment!

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10. Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball."I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition.""Batted .007," his wife added.

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