Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?He was the skipper!

1. Golfer: "Caddy, do you think my game is improving?"Caddy: "Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."

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2. Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?They prefer cricket matches!

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3. Q: Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn." A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!

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4. Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?Because education pays off in the long run!

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5. Tysons psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didnt say two!

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6. A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game."I liked it, but I couldnt understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said."What do you mean?" he asked."Well, everyone kept yelling, Get the quarter back!"

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7. A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club?"Were the crowd not behind you" asked the reporter"They were right behind me all right", said the manager, "But I managed to shake them off at the station!"

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8. How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle ?Somebody took a corner !

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9. What does a footballer and a magician have in common?Both do hat tricks!

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10. Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding ?They got jellygated !

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