Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says "all cotton."Salesman: Oh, thats just to keep the moths away.

1. What happened when the man asked the salesman for a good belt?"O.K., you asked for it," the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.

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2. One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object."What is that?" Mikey asked. "Its a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked."Its a thermos," Mikey replied."What does it do?" they asked."Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.""What do ya got in it?"To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."

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3. Salesman: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round heres got room in their houses for a mammoth.

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4. Salesman: That suit looks nice. It fits like a bandage.Customer: Thanks. I bought it by accident.

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5. The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied "Its easy" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers. He laid out his chips and dip. His boss said, "Thats a very innovative approach" and took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Yuck, this tastes terrible!" his boss yelled. The salesman replied "IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?"

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6. A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesmans company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."

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7. Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "Im returning on the next flight. Cant sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"

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8. Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things -- burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, "I hope youll be very happy there."

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9. Policeman: Why didnt you check your speedometer?Driver: It broke when I hit 100.

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10. Insurance agent to would-be client: "Dont let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonite. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know.

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