One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object."What is that?" Mikey asked. "Its a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked."Its a thermos," Mikey replied."What does it do?" they asked."Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.""What do ya got in it?"To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."

1. "Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, shes home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isnt where I live.

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2. The out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home and practice his pitch on his wife.The next morning, the manager asked the novice how he made out.Well," the man began, "I did what you said, and after I finished, I asked her if she would buy the vacuum cleaner from me. She said Yes. Then I asked her why ? She replied, Because I love you."

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3. A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesmans company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."

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4. Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things -- burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, "I hope youll be very happy there."

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5. Ned: What does your Dad sell ?Ed: Salt.Ned: Well, my dad is a salt seller, too.Ed: Shake.

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6. A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the unbreakable comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."

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7. Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says "all cotton."Salesman: Oh, thats just to keep the moths away.

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8. "No, no, no!" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. "I cannot see you today!" "Thats fine," said the salesman, "Im selling spectacles."

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9. How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?"Hi. Nice to meet you. Im better than you."

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10. Insurance agent to would-be client: "Dont let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonite. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know.

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