The out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home and practice his pitch on his wife.The next morning, the manager asked the novice how he made out.Well," the man began, "I did what you said, and after I finished, I asked her if she would buy the vacuum cleaner from me. She said Yes. Then I asked her why ? She replied, Because I love you."

1. A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesmans company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."

- RATE / SHARE →

2. A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared."I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."The salesman thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said."Ive always wanted a Ferrari," the salesman said.Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?""Well," said the salesman, "Ive always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."

- RATE / SHARE →

3. A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires.After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enuff and said, "My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother ?"

- RATE / SHARE →

4. Ned: What does your Dad sell ?Ed: Salt.Ned: Well, my dad is a salt seller, too.Ed: Shake.

- RATE / SHARE →

5. Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: Im a salesman and I keep selling myself things I dont want.

- RATE / SHARE →

6. What salesman has the slickest line?A hair grease salesman.

- RATE / SHARE →

7. Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery.Customer: But it says "Made in Cleveland."Salesman: Havent you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?

- RATE / SHARE →

8. A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman manages to bull his way into a womans home in a rural area."This machine is the best ever" he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor.The woman says shes really worried it may not all come off, so the salesman says, "If this machine doesnt remove all the dust completely, Ill lick it off myself.""Do you want ketchup on it?" she says, "were not connected for electricity yet!"

- RATE / SHARE →

9. Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things -- burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, "I hope youll be very happy there."

- RATE / SHARE →

10. The out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home and practice his pitch on his wife.The next morning, the manager asked the novice how he made out.Well," the man began, "I did what you said, and after I finished, I asked her if she would buy the vacuum cleaner from me. She said Yes. Then I asked her why ? She replied, Because I love you."

- RATE / SHARE →