A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because Im not a liberal Democrat." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why Im a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl. The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she is a conservative Republican. "Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too." The teacher, now angry, loudly says, "Thats no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron? What would you be then?" The teacher paused and smiled. "Then," Lucy said, "Id be a liberal Democrat."

1. QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people.

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2. Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room?A: The White House.

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3. Q: Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown?A: The punch lines were too long in Jonestown.

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4. An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, "Im Shaquille ONeill, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I died." So he takes the first parachute and jumps.The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world, a Senator in New York and Americas potential future President". She takes one of the parachutes and jumps.The third passenger, George W. Bush, says, "I am the President of the United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people no

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5. Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans, but they dont admit it.

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6. Republicans say "Merry Christmas!" Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

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7. Q: How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two - one to screw it in, and a second to hand out leaflets. A: One, but it takes him about 30 years to realize that the old one has burnt out.

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8. Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

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9. Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?A: Hes the stiff one.

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10. It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy.

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