Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum.

1. It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy.

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2. Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

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3. The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress cant make death any worse than it is.

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4. Democrats favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls." Young Democrats favorite Christmas carol is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." Republicans favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas." Young Republicans favorite Christmas carol is "White Christmas."

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5. What is the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized.

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6. A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist:"Id like to become the next President of the United States."The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?"Redneck: "Why, is it required?"

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7. Q: What do a Wendys Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common?A: They were both cooked by a guy named "Dave".

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8. Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes?A: None. The democrats do that.

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9. Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. They havent got a policy on that.

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10. When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failedexperiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was ademagogue.When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evilempire, I knew he was a dangerous kook.When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War byescalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclearannihilation.When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiatedits past, I knew it was all Gorbachevs genius, and that fool Reaganhad nothing to do with it.Because if that fool Reagan was right all along......what kind of fool am I?

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