Definition:Politics Poli (Poly): Many.... Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures

1. Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?A: A competent liberal President.

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2. Republicans say "Merry Christmas!" Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

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3. Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards. Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.

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4. Democrats favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street." Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "Its a Wonderful Life." Right-Wing Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard."

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5. Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman said, "I never pass up a chance to promote the party. For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a sizable tip and say, Vote Democratic." His opponent said, "I have a better scheme, and it doesnt cost me a nickel. I dont give any tip at all. And when I leave, I also say, Vote Democratic."

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6. Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this, Republicans are in full agreement.

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7. Q: Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1?A: For spare parts.

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8. Once a madman said, "Do you know there is a war going on between India and Bharat? Another madman said, "Why should we worry, we live in Hindustan."

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9. A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because Im not a liberal Democrat." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why Im a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl. The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she is a conservative Republican. "Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are cons

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10. Two political candidates were having a hot debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"And the other guy screamed back, "You leave my wife out of this!"

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