A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, "You can go home now."

1. Two 80 year old men are driving down the road when they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement: "It makes you feel young again." John looks at Sylvester and says, "We need to pull over and get a bottle of that stuff!" Sylvester agrees and the two old men pull over and get a bottle of Ex-Lax. They both take two tablespoons each and continue to drive. About one mile later Sylvester asks, "Well John, do you feel young yet?" "No," replies John. So they pull over and take four more tablespoons a piece and continue to drive down the road. A couple of miles later, Sylvester asks, "John, do you feel younger?" "No," replies John, "but I sure did a childish thing!"

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2. Why is it easy to break in to an old mans house? Because his gait is broken, and his locks are few.

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3. A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Whos the boss around here?" he asked. "I am." said the man. "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." "No, no, no, get the brown one." the mans wife said. "Heres your chicken." said the farmer.

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4. Q: Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair?A: She wanted to rock and roll

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5. Are you getting older and wiser? No, hes getting older and wider!

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6. A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye."What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing nearby, "is that?"He smiled condescendingly. "That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.""Well, then," snapped the little old lady, "why isnt it?"

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7. Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I havent told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. Ive changed my will three times!"

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8. A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

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9. Fred: I havent slept a wink for the past two nights. Harry: Whys that? Fred: Granny broke her leg. The doctor put it in plaster and told her she shouldnt walk upstairs. You should hear the row when she climbs up the drainpipe.

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10. Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now dont get mad at me... I know weve been friends for a long time, but I just cant remember your name. Ive thought and thought, but I cant recall it. Please tell me what your name is."Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just looked at her.Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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