How many maintenance programmers does it take to change a light bulb?None. They try to fix the old one."We looked at the light fixture and decided theres no point trying to maintain it. Were going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait two months?"

1. Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on?Pupil: No, Miss, the dress youre wearing looks fine.

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2. The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball.""Thank you, daddy, but where is the users guide?"

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3. What is a computer virus?A terminal illness.

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4. ..... Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?

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5. If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed...Oh, wait a minute, he already does.

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6. Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

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7. What is an astronauts favorite key on a computer keyboard?The space bar.

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8. One guy was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied, Its about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!

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9. This computer you charged me L950 for doesnt work....and you said it would be trouble free.It is, I charged you L950 for the computer, but youre getting all that trouble absolutely free!

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10. Mum, Mum, Dads broken my computer!How did he do that?I dropped it on his head.

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