The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

1. Want to buy a pocket computer?No, thanks, I already know how many pockets Ive got.

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2. Q: What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98? A: 3 years

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3. Q: Whats another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums? A: The warning label.

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4. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking Im a laptop computer.Youre just run down, let me give you some vitamins.No, thanks. But I could do with some new batteries.

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5. Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

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6. Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company.During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "Youre all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So dont trouble the other employees."The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "Youre all working very hard, and Im very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks weve been eating Team Leaders, M

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7. Which kind of ink do you put in your computers printer? Black, Red or Iced?Iced Ink?Well, yes you do, but I didnt want to mention it.

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8. To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.

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9. Dear Boss,I hope I havent misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of this Y to K dates problem makes any sense to me.At any rate I have finished converting all the months on all the company calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following improved months: Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk.In addition, I have changed the days of the week, and they are now: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak and Saturdak.Is it enough, or should I change any other Y to K? I am a fan of the New York Yankees. Should I call them New Kork Kankees in order to be Y2K ready?

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10. Q: Which way did the programmer go?A: He went DATA way!

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