Why was the broom late ? It over swept !

1. The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he proposed, "Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money to provide you with anything your little heart desires.""Sorry John." she replied. "Im not ready to settle down yet. And besides, you cant buy my love, but if the price is right, I might see my way clear to rent you some."

- RATE / SHARE →

2. A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?" "Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things Id ever heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! Youve got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!" "Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?" "Please dont make me tell you, Mum," wept the daughter, "Im so embarrassed, theyre just too awful! Come get me, please!" "Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, M

- RATE / SHARE →

3. I married Miss Right. I just didnt know her first name was Always.

- RATE / SHARE →

4. "I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her friend."I gave a poor beggar $25.""Thats a lot of money to give away," says her friend. "What did your husband say?""He said, Thank you. "

- RATE / SHARE →

5. The wedding was over, and the reception was in full swing. Dave an usher, was having a great time with other members of the wedding party. His wife, Betty was not. "Dont be to mad at Dave," a friend told her. "He did a terrific job. Id be glad to have him usher at my wedding." "Yeah," Betty replied, "I wish he had been an usher at mine."

- RATE / SHARE →

6. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

- RATE / SHARE →

7. Two men were remembering their wedding days. "It was dreadful," said Fred. "I got the most terrible fright." "What happened?" asked Harry."I married her," replied Fred.

- RATE / SHARE →

8. There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldnt find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now youre cheating on me with a bald woman!"The next night, when she didnt smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "Shes not only bald, but shes too cheap to buy any perfume!"

- RATE / SHARE →

9. If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you,what have you usually done wrong? Made her chain too long.

- RATE / SHARE →

10. Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Wife - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Hubby - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

- RATE / SHARE →