Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentiums floating point divider? A: "Life is like a box of chocolates..." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

1. "Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand?"" My right hand."" Amazing!Most people have to use the on/off switch."

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2. Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use.Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the one weve got or dont use any at all.

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3. Computers are not intelligent.They only think they are.

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4. A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message.She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error?There isnt even a keyboard attached?

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5. Why did the dish and spoon hide their computer?The cat kept fiddling with i.t.

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6. The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

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7. If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed...Oh, wait a minute, he already does.

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8. Youre spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked?No, theyve always been blue!

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9. To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.

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10. Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer?Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.

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