Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Wife - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Hubby - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

1. If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you,what have you usually done wrong? Made her chain too long.

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2. Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders.He says "When did you start wearing them?" To which the other man replies "Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car."

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3. A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks tohis wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take tosay "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "Im sorry" ?

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4. A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is soproud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" inspite of her objections.One night they go to a party. The man decides that its time to gohome, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. Heshouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts back,"Anytime youre ready, Father of Four!"

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5. Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyonewho would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for twoweeks leave in which to get married."But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didnt you getmarried then ?""What and ruin my vacation ?" she whined.

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6. A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "Youre what?!?"

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7. A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.They open the casket and find that the woman is actually still alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies.A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying outthe casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"

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8. Its for my mother-in-law," explained the mourner at the funeral procession. Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, "My Doberman here killed her.""Gee...Thats terrible," commiserated the spectator. "But... Hmmmm... Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?"The bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder and answered, "Get in line."

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9. A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife whenhe found her with a neighbor. Upon being asked why he shother instead of her lover, he replied,"Ah, msieur, is it not better to shoot a woman once than adifferent man every week?"

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10. A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boys nervousness builds.He remembers his fathers advice, and chooses the first topic.He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns.After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his fathers suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his fathers advice and asks t

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