If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed...Oh, wait a minute, he already does.

1. Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on?Pupil: No, Miss, the dress youre wearing looks fine.

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2. A customer called to say he couldnt get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the screen and pressing the "send" key.

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3. I heard that if you play the Windows NT 4.0 CD backwards, youll get a satanic message. But the most frightening thing is that if you play it forward, it installs NT 4.0!

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4. Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, Im really confused on this one. Its a tough decision; Im not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows 95 among other indiscretions. I believe Ill do something Ive never done before; Ill let you decide where you want to go."Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why dont I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"Bill played with his pocket protector for a mo

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5. Tech Support: "Which format are the images you send?" Customer: "Rectangular, 15x11 centimeters."

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6. Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

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7. My computer isnt that nervous. Its just a bit ANSI.

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8. A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it could not find the printer. The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printerbut his computer still could not see the printer.

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9. How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?"Youre still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"

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10. Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?He wanted to have webbed feet.

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