At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boys ear. "There!" he said proudly. "I bet your Mum cant produce eggs without hens, can she?" "Oh yes, she can," said the boy. "She keeps ducks."

1. A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldnt be eating here."

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2. Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes, I have. Well, you shouldnt be so clumsy!

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3. Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!

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4. At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything.When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: Is this pig?Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: Which end of the fork are you referring to?

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5. Whats red and green and wears boxing gloves? A fruit punch.

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6. Why did the biscuit cry? Because its mother had been a wafer so long.

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7. Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay waiter."

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8. A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.Would you like a cherry on the top ? asked the waitress.No, thanks, said the girl, Im on a diet !

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9. Why cant you make bread like my mother? I would if you could make dough like your father!

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10. What vegetable needs a plumber? A leek.

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