How do you make gold soup?Put 14 carrots in it.

1. A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldnt be eating here."

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2. The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.

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3. What do you call an egg from outer space?An unidentified flying omelet!

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4. Whats red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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5. What cake wanted to rule the world? Attila the Bun.

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6. Have you heard the story about the loaf of bread? No. Oh, crumbs.

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7. Q: What did one strawberry say to the other?A:"Look at the jam youve gotten us into!"

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8. A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered."Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special.""Whats a Midnight Special?""A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread.""Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?""Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"

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9. Knock KnockWhos there !Bean !Bean who ?Bean working very hard today !

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10. A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.Would you like a cherry on the top ? asked the waitress.No, thanks, said the girl, Im on a diet !

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