Why did the grape cross the road?To get away from the grapefruit.

1. Several women were discussing what they should have for dinner. "If youre watching your weight," came one suggestion, "those diet frozen dinners are good." The man then added: "But get two. Theyre small."

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2. Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are we running so fast?" asked one. "Because," said the second, "it says tear along the dotted line!"

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3. Fred! What did I say Id do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again? Thats funny, Mom. I cant remember either.

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4. Whats the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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5. What musical instrument goes with cheese? Picklelo.

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6. What are the four food groups?For bachelors: Fast, Frozen, Junk and Spoiled.For drinkers: Malt, Hops, Barley and Yeast.For heavies: Caffeine, Fat, Sugar, Chocolate.

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7. Whats the fastest cake in the world? Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.

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8. How do you know that a elephants been in the fridge? There are foot prints in the butter. "

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9. At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything.When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: Is this pig?Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: Which end of the fork are you referring to?

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10. One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.Tom wasnt happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"

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