"May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special sir," he replied. "We justtell them straight out that theyre going to die."

1. And whats your name?" the secretary asked the next new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first names not Roland," smirked the secretary. "No, maam. Its Brendan."

- RATE / SHARE →

2. If there were no food left, what could people do?Country people could eat their forest preserves and city people could have their traffic jams.

- RATE / SHARE →

3. On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.

- RATE / SHARE →

4. A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.

- RATE / SHARE →

5. An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.""Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadnt heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

- RATE / SHARE →

6. Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water?A: Just spell "Evian" backwards!

- RATE / SHARE →

7. Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?Johnny: Its because I saw one on daddys lettuce, but now its gone.

- RATE / SHARE →

8. Why did the biscuit cry? Because its mother had been a wafer so long.

- RATE / SHARE →

9. How does a witch make scrambled eggs? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.

- RATE / SHARE →

10. Why are oranges like bells?You can peel (peal) both of them.

- RATE / SHARE →