A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared."I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."The salesman thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said."Ive always wanted a Ferrari," the salesman said.Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?""Well," said the salesman, "Ive always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."

1. What salesman has the slickest line?A hair grease salesman.

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2. Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things -- burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, "I hope youll be very happy there."

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3. A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water."That customers going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?""Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat."

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4. A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the unbreakable comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."

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5. The out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home and practice his pitch on his wife.The next morning, the manager asked the novice how he made out.Well," the man began, "I did what you said, and after I finished, I asked her if she would buy the vacuum cleaner from me. She said Yes. Then I asked her why ? She replied, Because I love you."

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6. "Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, shes home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isnt where I live.

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7. How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?"Hi. Nice to meet you. Im better than you."

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8. The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied "Its easy" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers. He laid out his chips and dip. His boss said, "Thats a very innovative approach" and took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Yuck, this tastes terrible!" his boss yelled. The salesman replied "IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?"

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9. A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesmans company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."

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10. One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object."What is that?" Mikey asked. "Its a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked."Its a thermos," Mikey replied."What does it do?" they asked."Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.""What do ya got in it?"To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."

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