Every time I tell my English Setter to stop barking, it never does! What does it do? It just stands on its back two legs and quotes Shakespeare! What? Yeah, it says, "To bark or not to bark that is the question!" and keeps on barking!

1. Why is it called a "litter" of puppies ?Because they mess up the whole house !

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2. A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to completely remove the dogs tail. The vet confused said "Why do you want me to do that? the dogs tail is perfectly healthy." The man replied "Well the wifes mother comes this weekend and I want to make sure there are no signs of any welcome!!"

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3. Where do you usually find dogs?It all depends on where you lose them.

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4. What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road ?A mutt in a rut !

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5. Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In bark-lays bank !

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6. How do you make a dog float?Take two scoops of ice cream, a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

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7. What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog ?Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

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8. What kind of dog is the smartest? A great brain!

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9. When is a dog most impolite?When he points.

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10. How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster ?Terrier-fied !

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