Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.Dont talk rubbish!

1. Doctor, Doctor Im becoming invisible.Yes I can see youre not all there!

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2. Doctor, Doctor I think Im a python You cant get round me just like that you know!

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3. Doctor, Doctor I think I need glassesYou certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

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4. Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work?A: In case they have to draw blood.

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5. Doctor, Doctor Ive got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet.Sounds like youve got Foot and Mouth disease!

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6. Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?I never make rash promises!

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7. At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it. After the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands.As she comes back the male doctor says, "I bet you are a surgeon".She confirms and asks how he knew. "Easy, youre always washing your hands."She then says, "I bet youre an anesthesiologist."Male doctor: "Wow, how did you guess?"Female doctor: "I didnt feel a thing."

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8. Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks Im a liarI cant believe that!

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9. Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois? The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them.

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10. Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in What about a matchbox!

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