A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?Its crowded & dirty and full of Italians. Youre crazy to go to Rome.So, how are you getting there?""Were taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!""TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "Thats a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and theyre always late.So, where are you staying in Rome?""Well be at the downtown International Marriott.""That dump! Thats the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and theyre overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?""Were going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.""Thats rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. Hell look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. Youre going to need it."A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome."It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWAs brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot.And the hotel-it was great! Theyd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now its the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!""Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didnt get to see the pope.""Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally me et some of the visitors, and if Id be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.""Really?" asked the Barber. "Whatd he say?"He said, "Whered you get the lousy haircut?

1. A guy walks in to the Barbershop. Barber says, "What will it be today?" Guy says, "well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up." Barber says, "Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that."Guy says, "Thats how you cut it last time"

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2. How can you avoid falling hair?Get out of the way.

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3. Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? A: It matches their mustaches.

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4. Why do barbers make good drivers? Because they know all the short cuts.

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5. Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg? Because he always uses a razor.

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6. A little girl climbed into her grandfathers lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck. "Did god make you?", she asked. "yes" he answered. "did god makeme, to?" she wondered. "yes", he replied. "well, she shrugged, "dont you think hes doing a better job now than he used to?"

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7. Americas oldest lady was 115 years old today, and she hasnt got a grey hair on her head. How come? Shes completely bald.

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8. What do you call a high-priced barber shop?A clip joint.

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9. What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a bucket of cement ?Permanent waves !

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10. Customer: Why is my hairline receding?Barber: Its not. Your scalp is advancing.

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