Regardless of what you may hear, theres still many women these dayswho are excellent "housekeepers". Seems each time they get a divorce,they keep the house.

1. Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of thedivorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said:"Im going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month." To which the womans about-to-be ex replied: "Thats mightykind of you, judge. Ill try to help her all I can, too."

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2. Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O." "Whyd you put that circle down?" asked the clerk. "Cause Ah cant write," replied the girl. "Why dont you sign with an X?" asked the man. "Ah used to," she answered. "But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!"

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3. Q: Why do divorced men get married again?A: Bad memory.

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4. Question: Whats the major cause of divorce? Answer: Once is not enough.

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5. What do a hurricane, a tornado, a fire and a divorce have in common? They are four ways you can lose your house!

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6. A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce.The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says,"Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.""Because," the man says,"I live in a two-story house."The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that?What is the big deal about a two-story house?"The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is I have a headache and the other story is Its that time of the month.

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7. An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We cant stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says "Were sick of each other, and Im sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell theyre getting divorced," she shouts, "Ill take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Dont do a single thing until I get there. Im calling my brother back, and well both be there tomorrow. Until then, dont do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hang

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8. Mrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for a divorce from her husband in 1949 on grounds of desertion. She testified hed stepped out "for a beer" on the Fourth of July, 1917, and had never come back.

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9. Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won, the dog bit him.

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10. Miss DeAngelo was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didnt find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the other woman in her husbands life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?""Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldnt help it." "Couldnt help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "Hows that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?""See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."

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