"Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."

1. Good news! Ive been given a goldfish for my birthday. . .the bad news is that I dont get the bowl until my next birthday!

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2. Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? Hes trying to age disgracefully!

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3. Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didnt you? Fred: I couldnt find one big enough for your nose.

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4. Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because its too hard to put them on the bottom!

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5. Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong."Ill never understand women" said Joe. "The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.""Wow! Thats quite some gift" said the bartender. "So why are you so dejected?""Well I thought about it for a while" said Joe, "and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she wont even speak to me!"

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6. Cat: "What did you get him for his birthday?" Dog: "Pant . . . pant!" Cat: "Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!"

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7. A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"Ill buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and thistime he doesnt get her anything.She says, "Why didnt you get me a birthday present!?"He replies, "You didnt use what I got you last year!"

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8. What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday? A stole.

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9. How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?He has a whale of a party!

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10. A St. Louis mother telephoned the capital building over in Jefferson City and asked to speak to the game warden. After being switched from office to office, a voice finally said, "Hello." "Are you the game warden?" she asked. "Yes." "Finally Ahve got the right person!" she said. "Could yawl gimme some help with my sons birthday party?"

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