"Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.I told my computer that today is my birthday,and it said that I needed an upgrade."

1. A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. Whats the matter? she asked. Its my birthday! he hollered. And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon theres to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . . and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard. But thats lovely, said the old lady. Why are you crying? Because Im lost!

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2. Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because its too hard to put them on the bottom!

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3. What is your favourite type of birthday present? Another present!

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4. Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred: Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.

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5. What did one candle say to the other?"Dont birthdays burn you up?"

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6. "Did you go shopping for my birthday present?" "Yeah, and I found the perfect thing." "What thing is that?" "Nothing!"

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7. First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No, Im having a witch do. First boy: Whats a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.

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8. How can you tell if an elephants been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream.

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9. How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?He has a whale of a party!

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10. A man who forgets his wifes birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.

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