BoyFriend: Why didnt you give me anything for my birthday?GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

1. "My birthdays coming"Do you know what I need?" "Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"

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2. Did you hear about the trees birthday? It was a sappy one!

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3. It was Grandpa Jones 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit.He explained "I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. Ive been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years.""How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" we asked."Its simple" he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk."

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4. Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because its too hard to put them on the bottom!

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5. What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!

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6. What is an elfs favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!

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7. Why wont anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!

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8. Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred: Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.

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9. The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.Excuse me for disturbing you, maam, he said politely, but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and Ive noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread!Thats right.Every day you wallop him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were hitting him with a chocolate cake....?Well, today is his birthday!

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10. Home - A - Age Jokes"Thats an excellent essay for someone your age," said the English teacher. "How about for someone my Mums age, Miss?" "Welcome to school, Simon," said the nursery school teacher to the new boy. "How old are you?" "Im not old," said Simon. "Im nearly new."Miss Jones agreed to be interviewed by Fred for the school magazine. "How old are you, maam?" asked Fred. "Im not going to tell you that," she replied. "But Mr Hill the technical teacher and Mr Hill the geography teacher told me how old they were." "Oh well," said Miss Jones. "Im the same age as both of them." The poor teacher was not happy when she saw what Fred wrote: Miss Jones, our English teacher, confided in me that she was as old as the Hills. "Now remember, boys and girls," said the science teacher, "you can tell a trees age by cou

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