A man who forgets his wifes birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.

1. Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap? It was a birthday present from his wife!

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2. Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? Hes trying to age disgracefully!

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3. Did you hear about the time Eddys sister tried to make a birthday cake ?The candles melted in the oven.

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4. A St. Louis mother telephoned the capital building over in Jefferson City and asked to speak to the game warden. After being switched from office to office, a voice finally said, "Hello." "Are you the game warden?" she asked. "Yes." "Finally Ahve got the right person!" she said. "Could yawl gimme some help with my sons birthday party?"

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5. A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"She said, "Id love to be ten again."On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

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6. Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred: Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.

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7. Whats the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.

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8. A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"Ill buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and thistime he doesnt get her anything.She says, "Why didnt you get me a birthday present!?"He replies, "You didnt use what I got you last year!"

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9. Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!

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10. Why couldnt prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

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