Whats the difference between Windows 95 and a virus? A virus does something.

1. ..... Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?

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2. Customer: "Hi, Im supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?"

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3. If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed...Oh, wait a minute, he already does.

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4. Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company.During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "Youre all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So dont trouble the other employees."The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "Youre all working very hard, and Im very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks weve been eating Team Leaders, M

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5. You have just received the "Kentucky Virus"!!!As we aint got no programin experience, this here Virus works on the honor system.Please delete all the files on your hard drive, and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.Thanks for your cooperation.

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6. Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

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7. As most technophiles are aware, there are special programs to run scanners. These programs use a TWAIN driver to perform the scanning. TWAIN, the acronym, stands for "Technology Without An Interesting Name."

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8. A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and invalid". The tech explained that the computers "bad" and "invalid" responses shouldnt be taken personally.

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9. Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentiums floating point divider? A: "Life is like a box of chocolates..." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

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10. Customer: "Im running Windows 95." Tech: "Yes." Customer: "My computer isnt working now." Tech: "Yes, you said that."

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