What do computers eat when they get hungry? Chips.

1. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking Im a computer.My goodness, youd better come to my surgery right away!I cant, my power cable wont reach that far.

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2. After a caller gave a technician her PCs serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said shed be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."

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3. Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?""Yes, well, Im having trouble with WordPerfect.""What sort of trouble?""Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.""Went away?""They disappeared.""Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?""Nothing.""Nothing?""Its blank; it wont accept anything when I type.""Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?""How do I tell?""Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?""Whats a sea-prompt?""Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?""There isnt any cursor, I told you, it wont accept anything I type.""Does your monitor have a power indicator?""Whats a monitor?""Its the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when its on?""I dont know.""Well then, look on the back of the

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4. Another customer called Tech Support to say her brand-new computer wouldnt work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

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5. What do computers eat when they get hungry? Chips.

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6. Youre spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked?No, theyve always been blue!

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7. When do computers go to sleep?When its internight.

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8. A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldnt read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.

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9. How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?One, to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

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10. What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger?A big mac.

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