This customer comes into the computer store. "Im looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Windows 98?"

1. Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

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2. To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.

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3. Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, thats a hardware problem.

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4. What do you get if you cross a constable with a computer?PC Plod.

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5. The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

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6. This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying:"Nerds Not Allowed -- Enter At Your Own Risk!"He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him."You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?""I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers Im hauling.""Okay, truck drivers are not nerds," he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked."Why did you do that?""Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and a

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7. What is a computer virus?A terminal illness.

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8. When do computers go to sleep?When its internight.

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9. Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company.During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "Youre all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So dont trouble the other employees."The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "Youre all working very hard, and Im very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks weve been eating Team Leaders, M

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10. Helpline? Ive just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive!Has the computer stopped working?No, but theres a lot of crackling.

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