Trending Jokes (50)

1. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

Added over 8 years ago in Food jokes  

2. whats a dogs favourite colour? Grrrreen

Added over 8 years ago in Dog jokes  

3. One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

Added over 5 years ago in Bar jokes beer booze and fun  

4. A man walks in to a bar and says to the bartenter " Give me twenty shots of your best singlemalt scotch quick!"] The bartender pours the shots, and the man drinks them as fast as he can. The bartender says " Wow. I never saw anybady drink that fast." The man says " well you would drink as fast as I do if you had what I have." The bartender says " Oh my god . what is it. what do you have?" The man looks at him and says " Fifty cents."

Added over 5 years ago in Bar jokes beer booze and fun  

5. What did the boa constrictor say to its victim? "I've got a crush on you."

Added over 3 years ago in Snake jokes  

6. Why are bananas never lonely? Because they hang around in bunches.

Added over 5 years ago in Banana jokes  

7. Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called ship-ment but when you transport something by ship its called cargo?

Added over 5 years ago in Answer me this jokes  

8. Where did the cow go for his holiday? Moo Zealand.

Added over 3 years ago in Cow jokes  

9. How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Added over 5 years ago in Banana jokes  

10. Why didnt the two worms go into Noahs ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs!

Added over 5 years ago in Apple jokes  

11. First apple: You look down in the dumps. Whats eating you? Second apple: Worms, I think.

Added over 5 years ago in Apple jokes  

12. What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!

Added over 5 years ago in Apple jokes  

13. Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?

Added over 5 years ago in Answer me this jokes  

14. Why do elephants have trunks? Because they can't fit everything into a handbag.

Added over 3 years ago in Elephant jokes  

15. What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm!

Added over 5 years ago in Apple jokes  

16. Why did the girl cut a hole in her new umbrella? Because she wanted to tell when it stopped raining.

Added over 3 years ago in Weather jokes  

17. How do dinosaurs pass exams? With extinction.

Added over 3 years ago in Dinosaur jokes  

18. Did you hear about the boy who stole some rhubarb? He was put into custardy.

Added over 3 years ago in Food jokes  

19. Who loves hamburgers, French fries, and ants? Ronald MacAardvark!

Added over 5 years ago in Aardvark jokes  

20. How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it.

Added over 3 years ago in Sport jokes  

21. Why did the boy wear five watches? He liked to have a lot of time on his hands.

Added over 3 years ago in Time jokes  

22. Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!

Added over 3 years ago in Dog jokes  

23. What do you call a lion wearing a hat? A dandy lion.

Added over 3 years ago in Various animal jokes  

24. What is uglier than an aardvark? Two aardvarks!

Added over 5 years ago in Aardvark jokes  

25. Why can't a bike stand on its own? It's two tired.

Added over 3 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

26. What does an aardvark keep in his aquarium? An aard-shark!

Added over 5 years ago in Aardvark jokes  

27. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk.

Added over 3 years ago in Cow jokes  

28. Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

Added over 3 years ago in Humor jokes  

29. What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

Added over 3 years ago in Dinosaur jokes  

30. What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.

Added over 3 years ago in Cat jokes  

31. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks "How do you drive this thing?"

Added over 3 years ago in Humor jokes  

32. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Added over 3 years ago in Sport jokes  

33. What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie

Added over 3 years ago in Dentist jokes  

34. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.

Added over 3 years ago in Banana jokes  

35. My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he's only got his shelf to blame.

Added over 3 years ago in Idiot and fool jokes  

36. Do steam rollers really roll steam?

Added over 5 years ago in Answer me this jokes  

37. What does the aardvark call his dog? Aard-bark!

Added over 5 years ago in Aardvark jokes  

38. What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote? One has a long smeller, the other, a loud yeller!

Added over 5 years ago in Aardvark jokes  

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