Hair And Bald Jokes (69)

1. A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barbers chair and said, "Ill have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room." She replied, "Im married and my husband wouldnt like that. The cowboy said, "Tell him your working overtime and Ill pay you the difference." She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

2. A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "Howd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "Its natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "Howd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "Its natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "Howd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "Its natural."

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

3. A guy walks in to the Barbershop. Barber says, "What will it be today?" Guy says, "well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up." Barber says, "Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that."Guy says, "Thats how you cut it last time"

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

4. a guy was teased everywhere of his totally noticably bald head! Afta goin thru yrs of this, he decided that he should say sumthin about it! so he stood up on2 the tallest statue and shouted 4 everyone 2 hear: I AM NOT BALD, ITS JUST THAT IM TALLER THAN MY HAIR!

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

5. A little girl climbed into her grandfathers lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck. "Did god make you?", she asked. "yes" he answered. "did god makeme, to?" she wondered. "yes", he replied. "well, she shrugged, "dont you think hes doing a better job now than he used to?"

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

6. A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair."Im goin to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "Ill be back in a few minutes."When the boys haircut was completed and the man still hadnt returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddys forgotten all about you." "That wasnt my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, Come on, son, were gonna get a free haircut!"

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

7. A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

8. A man sitting in a barbers chair noticed that the barbers hands were very dirty. When he commented on this, the barber explained, "Yes, sir, no ones been in for a shampoo yet."

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

9. A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?Its crowded & dirty and full of Italians. Youre crazy to go to Rome.So, how are you getting there?""Were taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!""TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "Thats a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and theyre always late.So, where are you staying in Rome?""Well be at the downtown International Marriott.""That dump! Thats the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and theyre overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?""Were going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.""Thats rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. Hell look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. Youre going to need it."A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome."It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWAs brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot.And the hotel-it was great! Theyd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now its the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!""Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didnt get to see the pope.""Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally me et some of the visitors, and if Id be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.""Really?" asked the Barber. "Whatd he say?"He said, "Whered you get the lousy haircut?

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

10. A punk walked into a barbers shop and sat in an empty chair. "Haircut, sir?" asked the barber. "No, just change the oil, please!"

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

11. A woman was cutting her husbands thinning hair, when their teenage son arrived home looking for a snack. She ofered a kiwifruit and tried to tempt him with its nutritious qualities. "It has more vitamin C than an orange," she remarked. "And more hair than Dad," added their son.

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

12. After accepting an invitation to dance with a rather prematurely balding man a young woman wants to lighten the mood and says, "Honey, God was good to you, gave you a handsome face and room for another one."

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

13. Americas oldest lady was 115 years old today, and she hasnt got a grey hair on her head. How come? Shes completely bald.

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

14. Barber: And how old are you, little man? Fred: Eight. Barber: And do you want a haircut? Fred: Well, I certainly didnt come in for a shave!

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

15. Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

16. Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir.Customer: Im not surprised - hurry up, will you?

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

17. Customer: Couldnt you see I was going bald?Barber: No, the shine from your head blinded me.

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

18. Customer: Why did you take off so much hair?Barber: I didnt, nature beat me to it.

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

19. Customer: Why doesnt my hairline look good?Barber: Its on the same old head.

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

20. Customer: Why is my hairline receding?Barber: Its not. Your scalp is advancing.

Added over 10 years ago in Hair and bald jokes  

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