Food Jokes (123)

1. "May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special sir," he replied. "We justtell them straight out that theyre going to die."

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

2. A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

3. A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didnt throw out the pest."Oh, I really dont care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We dont even have an air conditioner."

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

4. A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didnt throw out the pest."Oh, I really dont care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We dont even have an air conditioner."

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

5. A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

6. A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

7. A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.Would you like a cherry on the top ? asked the waitress.No, thanks, said the girl, Im on a diet !

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

8. A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldnt be eating here."

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

9. A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

10. A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldnt find one big enough for her family.She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"The stock boy replied, "No maam, theyre dead."

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

11. A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered."Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special.""Whats a Midnight Special?""A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread.""Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?""Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

12. A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

13. A tourist walked into a fish and chip shop in Ireland. "Ill have fish and chips twice," he orders. "Sure, I heard you the first time," came the reply.

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

14. An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.""Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadnt heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

15. An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.""Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadnt heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

16. An irate woman burst into the bakers shop and said, "I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest you check your scales." The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied, "Maam, I suggest you weigh your son."

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

17. And whats your name?" the secretary asked the next new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first names not Roland," smirked the secretary. "No, maam. Its Brendan."

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

18. At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything.When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: Is this pig?Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: Which end of the fork are you referring to?

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

19. At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boys ear. "There!" he said proudly. "I bet your Mum cant produce eggs without hens, can she?" "Oh yes, she can," said the boy. "She keeps ducks."

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

20. Boy: Whats black, slimy, with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and dont worry about whats in the tin.

Added over 10 years ago in Food jokes  

Random Joke Trending Jokes Top Rated Jokes