Bicycle Jokes (29)

1. "Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym teacher. "Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy." "Im freewheeling, sir."

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

2. A little boy out riding his bicycle knocked down an old lady. She was a bit shaken, but got up, dusted herself off, then turned to the little boy and said, Dont you know how to ride a bike?Yes, he answered, but I dont know how to ring the bell yet

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

3. A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "Its a `thank you present", he explains, "from that freshman girl Ive been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!" One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girls clothes - and they wouldnt have fit you anyway!"

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

4. Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting peoples arms off? It was a vicious cycle.

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

5. I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

6. Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said: I didnt think wed make it! Jill replied, Nor did I - what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or wed have slid all the way back down!

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

7. Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

8. My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away.

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

9. Our bank manager cant ride a bike any more. Why not? He lost his balance.

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

10. Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb? A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

11. Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because theyre two-tired.

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

12. Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals. Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

13. The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. -"What do you mean by lucky ?" The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt really bad." -"Ah, youre lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus."

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

14. The school teacher was furious when Brad knocked him down with his new bicycle in the school yard. "Dont you know how to ride that yet?" he roared. "Oh yes!" shouted Brad over his shoulder. "Its the bell I cant work yet.

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

15. What did the bicycle call its dad?Pop-cycle

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

16. What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didnt want to walk in his sleep.

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

17. What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ?Petal !

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

18. What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ?Bicycle petals !

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

19. What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ?Bike carbonate of soda !

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

20. What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it.

Added over 10 years ago in Bicycle jokes  

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