Beauty Jokes (39)

1. "My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!"said Miss Conceited.Then hes right said her little brother.Sophia Loren?"No-spaghetti!

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

2. A little boy came running into the kitchen. Dad, dad he said, theres a monster at the door with a really ugly faceTell him youve already got one, said his father !

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

3. A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head."Hmmm," said the doctor. "Ive no idea what it is." The next week the branch was covered in leaves and blossom. "Im stumped," said the doctor, "but you can try taking these pills." When the monster came back a month later the branch had grown into a tree, and just a few weeks later he developed a small pond, surrounded by trees and bushes, all of them on top of his head. "Ah!" said the doctor, "I know what it is. Youve got a beauty spot."

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

4. A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her look like a film star. "Nothing," replied the assistant. "Nothing?" she asked, "but how can I look like a film star?" "Havent you seen a film called The Creature from the Black Lagoon?" replied the assistant.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

5. A woman went to a sweet store to buy some sweets. The boy behind the counter said "Gosh, your ugly arent you?, Ive never seen anyone so hideous as you before""Young man" she replied. " I didnt come here to be insulted""Really", he said, "Where do you usually go ?"

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

6. Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ?Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

7. Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back.Will: Pity its not on her head.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

8. Did you hear about the girl monster who wasnt pretty and wasnt ugly ?She was pretty ugly

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

9. Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

10. Dont look out of the window, Betty, people will think its Halloween.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

11. First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think thats vanity? Second girl: No, its imagination.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

12. First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh, what did you have done? First witch: Nothing, I was just going in for an estimate.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

13. First witch: My beauty is timeless. Second witch: Yes, it could stop a clock.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

14. Fred keeps telling me that hes going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And youve been engaged for such a long time!

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

15. Fred: Whats that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

16. Girlfriend: Will you love me when Im old and fat and ugly?Boyfriend: Of course I do !

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

17. I cant understand why people say my girlfriends legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but they certainly dont match.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

18. I dont think these photographs youve taken do me justice.You dont want justice - you want mercy !

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

19. Im not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But thats the problem - you dont please anyone.

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

20. Ive just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!

Added over 10 years ago in Beauty jokes  

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